There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pur whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the
works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, Do
you?

I'm so unbelievably tired; my sleep schedule has been totally fucked recently.
I go into at 9, so I wake up around 7:45 - shower, get dressed, then fall back to sleep until 8:40. I work until 6 usually then eat dinner and fall asleep around 9 only to wake up at 3 am. I waste time on Dlisted or Neopets or thinking about what im doing with my life. I fall asleep again around 6 and get an hour and halfish more of sleep only to repeat the cycle again. There just don't seem to be enough hours in the day to live.

I'll figure it all out someday, I hope.

It's Thursday which translates into PINT NITE at the Jackalope. Hello 2 dollar pints and wells! This means I'll either do one of two things tomorrow, a. call in drunk (which my boss is okay with. I come in around 12 to work for a few hours.) Or b. Show up on time wishing I had a blunt object to bash my face in with. The only thing that makes it better is being handed my paycheck. Holla for scrill.
But, I keep telling myself that I HAVE TO go out tonight. Celebration is in order for the Presidential Election, it's time to get Obaminated. It was rad to see my African american neighbors shouting things to the effect of "Awww shit we got ourselves a black president and what!!" and "O-bama-bama whut!" I have to join in on the festivities albiet late.

Halloween was great Leslie and I went as Little Mod Riding Hood and the Big Mod Wolf (which of course was a play on a Mighty Boosh episode)



Ready Steady Go was boringsville, so we headed back and forth between The Jackalope and Room 710. At one point I got hit on by some greasy Mexican dude who was slurring. He put his arm around me, even though I was engaged in a little cutesy hand holding with my wolf girl.He said something like "Eyyye bahbee". All that I could muster was "Ewww Do not do that" he looked at me strangely until Leslie pushed his ass. He then scampered off into the crowd of people to probably grab some asses or something. What a creep!
I hate dudes....

All but one (little) dude actually. MY MAN-MAN <3

Drake's totally doing his Hitcher impression.
Ben's going to Fun Fun Fun Fest this weekend so I'm taking Drake for another fun filled weekend. I don't know what we will do this time. I like to do something special with him each time he visits, which is every other weekend now. 2 weeks ago we went to the fair, before that a cool dinosaur exibit, and before that Chuck E Cheese because he had been asking to go there. I'll have to think of something before Saturday hmmm...
I picked out one of his big Christmas gifts already. It's a Thomas The Tank Engine electric train set. It's really cool, im hoping he shares and lets me play with it too.

Speaking of Holidays, I'm spending my 1st Holiday at my girlfriends parents house. Thankgiving is a big deal with Leslie's family so we're going to Dallas. I'm kind of nervous about it. But we're going to a great dance party while there. The Smoke is probably the only awesome mod dance party in Texas. Complete with Northern Soul dancing, back flips, splits, and all. Im excited about that. Now to find the perfect outfit.

King Khan and BBQ is coming up next weekend, im hella pumped. I havent seen Khan in like 5 months and Mark *googlie eyes* in a year. I love me some BBQ! The icing on the cake is Richie coming to stay that weekend.

Life is good-ish it was about time.

The Dark Knight has left me lusting over Christian Bale like a motherfucker.

Things have been moderately swellish lately, I really can't complain.
I see SUPER things over the horizon, like a 3 Day trip to Chicago that Ben and I are turning into the 1st of many installments of the Honeymoon we never had.(Memphis is next) I'm even seeing Ben Weasel! We've been keeping the fighting with each other to a minimum too. We reserve our griping for talks of his crazy Momma at the moment.
What did everyone do with their IRS Stimulus check?
Me, I paid off some of my travel debt and bought myself a brand new computer + external hard drive.
Holla for new bomb ass systems. My last computer wouldn't even allow me to watch Netflix movies off the site;BUNK!

I need work out buddies in this city god damnit. At the moment I gauge my diet process online with Ness, Victoria, Roxy but its just not enough for me. I need someone to talk to while I'm walking off the powdered donuts I ate in a late night stoney stupor. A little friendly diet motivation would really help. But, im just so judgemental. I'm put off by peoples interests; if you like bad music - fuckin' FOR-GET about chilling with this. (Yes, I know this is wrong but I can't help it.) It doesn't help that SA people have no range in music taste.

In other news, I think I hate my boss. He's so miserly he complained about the price of rubber bands.
I mean for fuck sake, rubber bands? You get like a million for a few bucks. And then there's the other legal assistant, Bitch has the most annoying/fake laugh I have ever heard. And I hear it CONSTANTLY! Ughhz, so not to be a job jumper but I may be looking for a new job. Mayyyyybe. I just don't like that I find myself dreading work everyday. (Hell, I should be getting ready right now)
We may be setting our move date in stone (again). Unfortantly, we probably won't be moving to Austin and that really bums me out.
Whatever :\ Our debt will most likely be paid off in a month and a half to two months so I'm looking at apartments finally.

Speaking of things I finally got around to doing, I'm half-way to my drivers liscense!
Im getting comfortable driving around but only in our Mazda. The Monte Carlo still gives me visions of driving this massive boat
around aka a giant death trap. Oh anxiety, how you love to sneak up on me.

I've been going to some pretty amazing shows lately. Besides Drake, I'm sure theyre the only thing besides St. Elsewhere that keeps me
somewhat sane. Take a looksie, ( snotface. )

As of yesterday I've got a jobbie job once again! I interviewed for it this past Monday
but didn't mention it for fear of jinxing it. I don't know when I became as superstitious as my
Mother, but dear god- it's frightening. Next thing you know Ill be going to a Witch to bless me
for stronger Bingo Luck but that's a whole 'nother story all together.
This job pays so well, fuck this 8 buck shit. I was underselling myself like crazy when I went
after that last job. This one is part-time but 11-12 bucks an hour. CHA-CHING!
I'll be working for a small Paralegal Firm in my own office, listening to my own jams. Can you
tell I'm pumped?
I missed making my own money a lot.(And Spending it too!) And I hated relying on Ben to pay
all our bills especially when he's got his own bullshit to worry about. Once I get paid, haha, we're
starting the 'Get the State of Texas off our Asses Fund'. Texas is still trying to butt fuck us for
speeding along their wondrous highway system among other things. sigh.
Due to that, & the fact 80% of the shit playing SXSW Ive already seen, I'll probably be skipping
SXSW this year. Oh wellz

More later, I've got a million things on my mind.
xo

Fuckkkkk this song rules.
Oh yeah, http://www.worldometers.info/ reality check

Oh wow ElJay, it's been awhile, baby.
I have TONS of pictures but I'll spare you
here's the abridged version...
( Hey, look over here )

Turn table ring, you're so last entry....
Hello [new] perfect wedding ring.

Uh, Ben... please?

It would really give me that 'wife of a mad scientist'-look
( Cephalopod Love Affair )

If I had 300 bucks this bad boy would be mine.


Off to the dinosaur exibit for the last time.

xo

p.s. I swear ill comprise a real post once all the Holiday Visitors are gone.

Last night Ben and I drove down to that desolate place we used to call home to drop Drakeman off at my moms. I don't know if I can stand to be without that little booger for a week.
I miss the crap out of him... Five days until he returns.
He's going to have the best Christmas ever. We still have a ton of shopping to do. ugh.

In other news...
Ben and I decided we're not moving to Austin after all.
I don't really know how long that decision will stick though.
Ugh, why can't I sleep anymore?

grumble grumble.

I kinda NEED that coat.

I take it back, I need a coat period.
My blue corduroy pea coat is way too big now and it's finally getting coldish here.
A-shopping I will go, well that is once I get another job.
More on that later,
I have tons of pictures to share and shit to talk.

Ahhhh what a week!

Between Halloween and Fun Fun Fun Fest weekend im still in recovery.
I should be alright by Thursday when the Death Cult Train pulls into town ready to fuck your shit up.
( Not many girls like the Bad News Bears like you do )

10 WHAT'S:
1. What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up?
"Fuck you, alarm clock" followed by, "Whhhhhy did I stay up so late????"

2. What did you do last night?
Resized a ton of photos from our days at the park, smoked, & read some of my first LJ entries. I should NOT have been writing at 17. And to think I find my journal is pointless now, hahhh.

3. What is the most important part of your life?
My famaree & my sanity

4. What would you rather be doing right now?
I'd rather be curled up in bed instead of waiting for the "big boss" to get here.

5. What did you last cry over?
Things I cannot change

6. What always makes you feel better when you're upset?
Drake'isms, Material things, Jack Herrer

8. What's the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
Shake Appeal

9. What are you worried about?
My current job being up in a month or so, moving, Ben's mom.

10. What are you looking forward to most in this week?
The same thing I look forward to every week, FRIDAY/my paycheck.

NINE HAVE YOU'S:
1. Have you ever liked someone while you had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Im the queen of 24 Hour Crushes

2. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Why yes, thanks for the reminder.

4. Have you ever been out of the country?
Only to Mexico and not even to the interior where the hot people live.

5. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
Ive made a habit of it.

6. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
Back stabbed, front stabbed, straight up DICKED OVER; you name it. I keep horrible company sometimes. I'm glad im learning from it.

7. Have you ever had the cops called on you?
Anti Mansion.

8. Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
Young Dumb and Full of Bubblegum, of course.

9. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
I love it when that happens, yes.

EIGHT WHO'S:
1. Who was the last person you saw?
Beto and Albert

2. Who was the last person you kissed?
I shocked Ben when I kissed him goodbye this morning. Why does that keep happening?

3. Who was the last person you texted?
The EJ Machine

4. Who was the last person to call you?
My boss

5. Who was your first crush?
That I can remember, either Jon Bon Jovi or Axl Rose

6. Who is the last person who texted you?
Amb'z

7.Who is the last person you freaked out on?
I don't remember, my freak outs are few and far between now.

8. Who did you last hug?
Benners

SEVEN WHEN'S:
1.When was your last shower?
Yesterday, the snooze button robbed me of my shower this morning.

2. When did you last see your mom?
Almost 2 months ago I think, good thing she'll be back on the 3rd!

3. When was your last time u saw your dad?
'03 a month or two before he died.

4. When did you last dress up?
Sometime last week when another one of my ebay scores came in.

5. When was the last time you cried?
Didn't I already answer this question?

6. When did you last go to the movies and with who?
Victoria and I went to see Hairspray, shit that was awhile back. I wonder what B movie is showing tonight for Weird Wednesday?

7. When did you last listen to music?
Currently, betch.

SIX WHERE'S:
1. Where does your best friend live?
My House & Austin

2. Where did you last go?
Into the Wal-Mart to use their fine restroom facilities.

3. Where did you last hang out?
The livingroom?

4. Where do you go to school?
Sadly, no where at the moment.

5. Where is your favorite place to be?
Austin, with a new castle in my hand and a taco on my mind.

6. Where did you sleep last night?
Next to Ben

FIVE DO'S/DOES:
1. Do you like someone right now?
I like-like Ben, but don't tell him. You know it goes right to his head.

2. Do they like you too?
No because I wake him up before day break to to drive me to work. p.s.Thanks Ben :)

3. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Not anymore.

4. Do you know the muffin man?
That nigga and I go wayyyy back.

5. Does the future scare you?
A bit, I guess Im really anxious to see a change in my life though.

FOUR WHY'S:
1. Why are you best friends with your best friend?
He helped me create the coolest person Ive ever known, he has the best taste sometimes, and and and an even more twisted sense of humor than myself. As for La Toria, her razorblade tongue sharp wit and the fact that she's ALWAYS there for me plus she gives great advice usually.

2. Why did you get a myspace?
Because Ryoji told me it was where all the hot azn were at. HE LIED.

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?
Because my mom watched too much Dynasty

Damn, I need some faux fur.

4. Why are you doing this survey?
Because it keeps me from falling asleep at work.

THREE IF'S:
1. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
Teleportation can be a super power, right? That's what I'd pick!

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
That's kind of unhealthy to think about, but yes. There are a few things i'd do differently mostly I'd change the company I kept.

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring one thing what would it be?
Bob Villa, to Swiss Family Robinson-something up.

TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER'S:
1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex's if they asked you?
FUCK NO.

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
How might head shaving save a life?

ONE LAST QUESTION:
1. Are you happy with your life right now?
Im happier than Ive been in awhile, yes.

I feel like such a slacker, not a day goes by that someone doesn't ask the question, "Oh Krystal, you're so bright - Why aren't you in school?" A lot of reasons I guess, Im mega indecisive for one. There are at least 3 fields of study I'd like to pursue on the academic level. Then there's Cosmetology school which I dig because I could go to school and keep my job and still have time to hang out with the Drake-man plus the Paul Mitchell school is so close our current house. I dont even see the purpose in starting school at the moment when we're supposed to be in Austin in March at the latest. [Note to self: that's still 5 months away,3 if we utilize our income tax money]
As much as school is one of my TOP priorities I have others that just can't take the backseat at the moment.
Like Drake man and providing for him; which means having a full time job.
The day school we'd like to send him to is really expensive but the curriculum is fantastic and it will insure that he's reading by the time he's 4. Not to brag about my kid but he has about 3/4 of the alphabet down and can usually count to 22 if he's in a good mood. Right now the numbers 15-16-17-18 bring him a lot of joy for some reason, you can hear him singing the number sequence around the house.
Speaking of that little shit, he's been so horrible as of late. He throws himself on the floor when he can't articulate his thoughts. He gestures and has a most serious look his face while doing so, he looks just like his Dad. While it unnerves me to see my kid act like a hellion I can't help but laugh, only resulting in him being more pissed off by my amusement. Two brats spawned a little smart ass brat, who would have guessed it?


As far as poundage goes next month is my Weight Loss Birthday. I started dieting in November of last year and Ive since lost 70 lbs, that figure is so shocking. It changed my whole outlook on myself and sometimes I think it wasn't in a completely positive manner. I tell myself that all girls obsess about their weight/bodies and we all have 'target areas' and goals.But I think it would be a good idea to move the scale out of my room and probably stop baking cookies for the boys all the time. Im at 128lbs,sz27/28 jeans or 4-5, my goal is 115[or 110] at this point its all toning and like we've established earlier, I'm a slacker. Good news is, my tits are back! Smaller, but they're back. They had been reduced to mere A cups during my diet;sad. Portion control, tons of water and exercise, and will power are the name of the game 'til I reach my goal. It feels so aberrant that I was once stressing to fit into XL's and now I'm lucky to find Smalls that fit correctly. Dare I even admit that Ive been purchasing[see;Spending excessively] XS's on ye 'olde ebays, which brings me to my next subject...

Last weeks financial woes kept us from going to Austin this past weekend, although we were there Wednesday for The Avengers/Pansy Division show at Red 7. I keep missing hangouts with some of the FEW people from the valley I actually wouldn't mind seeing.
Ili- Sorry I missed your Burlesque performance; I seriously felt like shit for it.
Then Selina, my quasi-little sister, & Lori my fellow Super Mom were in Austin and I couldn't see them Wahfest, man.
I have a need deep in my loins to travel away from this great state via car or railway. I grow tiresome of it and seeing as how Ive never been anywhere else Id love to broaden my horizons and see new sites. Ben, where is our copy of 'On the Road'? I looked everywhere, aka: I didnt look anywhere;find it for me.
More voyages, more journeys in search of nothing in particular, more FUN!

This big city I live in seems so over shadowed by a music mecca that's only an hour away. Ive gathered, that it's made this city's habitants grumpy/jaded due musical inferiority causing a complex or two. I'm not trying to trump or out-punk you when I bring up a band you haven't heard yet, bozos!
Why do some people just stop getting into newer music?
I won't ever allow my musical taste to be stunted or pigeon holed, but thats me. Most San Antonians don't follow suit, water-bears.

Dear Commie China,
Stop with the Led tainted children's toys already. We've had to throw 1/3 of Drakes toys away just because we're [overly]cautious parents. Everything we own says 'made in china'. Red bastards!

I dyed my hair a series of red colors because I was tired of retouching my roots every 2-3 weeks.
While it looks awesome and suits my skin tone Ill undoubtedly be back to blond by December, me thinks.
I'm waiting for the current red to fade back to strawberry blond which is my natural hair color; once again I'm too indecisive for my own good sometimes. I also finally got around to getting my Hello Cthulhu tattoo finally, nothing like mixing the world cutest most innocent image [Hello Kitty] with one of Lovecraft's most horrific characters [Cthulhu]. I'll post some pictures when it's better healed we're still a little flaky.
( And now, for your visual update. )

I want this so bad. It's officially the coolest blow dryer ever.

The shoes/boots I posted about yesterday finally came in.
Sadly the heels are about a half size too small.
So those babies are for sale now.
I thought id offer them to my friends list 1st
If they dont sell to Buffallo Exchange they go!


BUY ME

A few people on my friends list have done this for Fall,
they've updated with lots of new clothing they want.
I'll be doing the same..

Latest Scores:

Mmmm the buckle

And for the love of Ferragamo

Now I need a white pair of these babies!

Wants:

I'd love a puffy sleeved baby doll dress just like this.


I want one of these in every color imaginable!

but most of all, I want this dress

Well I've been working for about three weeks now and it's fantastic.
My job consists of scanning work badges, light paper work, and like Ive said a
couple times, making sure these huge burly construction workers don't break our
copy/fax machine. The pay is excellent too,I guess the only real downside is having
to wake up 5:45am but Ben said I'm not grouchy when I get up anymore so I think I'm
used to it.

My wonderful Mother paid us a week-long visit. She spoiled Drake and I like she always
does. But of course because Drake's "Nanny" was here there was no getting him to listen
to me. Drake has become a lot more unruly and likes to try my patience quite often.
They don't call it the terrible two's for nothing, I know. He closes his eyes and pretends
to not hear Ben and I when we ask him to do or not do something. It's really annoying but
he's too cute to be angry at for very long. His speech is getting unbelievably good too, I guess
it helps that all he's been talking about lately are Dinosaurs. Pronouncing those Latin names can
be hard. Now if he would only say 'I' instead of 'Me' when starting sentences, I'm working on it.
Other than dinosaurs he's all about 'Yo! Gabba Gabba!' which is really cute. Like PeeWee's Play House
only not as erratic.

Dear Elijah,
You're really cute.
Find yourself the "Party In My Tummy" video, it's adorable.[soooo yummy so yummy]

Moving on...

I don't get why people from my past feel the need to make themselves known, like "hey, im still
lurking in the shadows[like always]"... thats what it says to me. Spare me the backhanded compliments, you're hardly witty[nothings changed]. Like usual the joke was on her, she's still too stupid to know when she's being made fun of.

I've been in a great mood lately, I'm sure I just jinxed it but really things are pretty awesome right now.
Currently I'm most excited about this

Allen Ginsberg: Beat Generation Photographer @ the San Antonio Museum of Art. Go check it
out before October 14th. This comes just in time I just finished reading Poems - All Over The Place~mostly 'seventies~ by Ginsberg.
I've since moved on to Methuselah's Children by Robert Heinlein it's really good too. It seems I only get reading time at work though. At home theres way too much noise.
Fuck Go Diego Go, I'm so sick of hearing that thing speak and sing.

( Sealed for Freshness )